Sunday, September 11, 2011

Underground Girl - By Jared Baines

I was a shy girl, walking down the almost light, claustrophobic hallway. The only light I had was the tatty, glitching, light bulb that covered 3/4 of the hallway, it didn’t scare me, I was used to it. I was scared, I froze, put my shoulder in front of my face, cowering, as if I knew that it was going to happen, the door at the end of the hall opened, but there was no one there, it sucked me in like a black hole.

I was unconscious but I was aware, where was I?

What I thought was the next day, I woke to some dark, strange, restricting place, again where was I? I realized, I was in a coffin 10 feet underground.


By Jared Baines

5 comments:

eva said...

This is a really good story, Jared. Although some parts don't make sense e.g. "I wasn't scared, I was used to it. I was scared." And also if she is in the coffin how does she know how deep under ground she is?


LOVE EVA AND SAM <3

Mr Eames said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr Eames said...

Very good punctuation and very good use of words e.g "The glitching flash light" instead of the fading flash light

From Flynn

Joe le pro said...

This is a really good story, Jared. Although some parts don't make sense e.g. "I wasn't scared, I was used to it. I was scared." And also if she is in the coffin how does she know how deep under ground she is?

eva said...

Joe! You just copied me and Sam's comment!