I stumble up the creaky wooden stairs, looking around and wondering if this house is actually abandoned. I reach the top and look down at the termite infested stairs; it looks as if I’ve just walked up a few panels of cracked wood...
Suddenly I hear the screeching noise of a police car pull up outside. I run in the nearest dark room. I can hear the police man knocking on the rusty front door. I look round the room panicking
“What type of room is this?” I think to myself as I scan the surroundings. I see a humungous fire place or what seems to be a fire place.
‘BANG’ I hear the door smash into smithereens. I panic... “ What have I got myself into?”
I feel fear hit me, scared, shaking, I can already hear the rusty bar gate of the jail clatter closing me in forever. ‘Creek’ I hear loud footsteps stomp up the broken stairs, closer and closer, I feel an icy breath on my sweaty cheek. I look round franticly, there is someone in this room and I know it!
By Xanthe
2 comments:
Great grammar and we loved the excitement and danger at the end. It had good describing words; eg, screeching, humungous, clatter. It only leaves us wanting more!!
~ Marit and Marguerite
A great exciting piece of writing.
I like the way you used onomatopoeia to create suspense. e.g ‘Creek’ I hear loud footsteps stomp up the broken stairs.
Great work
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