Monday, September 12, 2011

The Hitch Hiker - By Elliot Hawes

It was a lonely afternoon drive. Just me and the growling engine cruising along the gravel road. As the stones belted out the back of the car like bullets, the speedometer reaching over one hundred mph. I was swerving around the cars before me. I saw something in the distance.
As I came closer and closer it came to be a grotty old hitch hiker. He was wearing a grotty coat , munted up boots, ripped jeans and he had scraggy hair, not to mention an unshaven beard that had bits of rotten food in it. It made him look really disgusting. Before I approached him I put a towel down on the seat, so no filth would get on the leather.

Why I pulled over, I don't know, maybe pity. I finally came up beside him and I said “ Do you need a lift ?” He just shrugged and hopped in the car. He said his first word, “Freeze!” and he pulled out a gun and said “Hop out “So I did that then he started to cheek my pockets he found $150 of mine , my drivers license , my ring , my phone and my i-pod.
“Pass the keys”
“WHAT!” I said.
“I said pass the keys”. Fine, so I gave the keys to him and he speed off into the distance. Lucky he took my fake phone my real phone is in my shoe.

By Elliot Hawes

5 comments:

eva said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eva said...

very good story.I liked your introduction and the use of similes.

e.g.It was a lonely afternoon drive. Just me and the growling engine cruising along the gravel road.as the stones belted out the back like bullets, the speedometer reaching over one hundred mph.

well done

By Charlie

Mr Eames said...

This story of The Hitch Hiker was great, it had good description e.g scraggy

Well done Elliott

Reuben & Gus

Mr Eames said...

Well done Elliott it is really impressive. I really felt nervous when the man highjacked the car. You used good descriptive words when describing the stranger
e.g grotty old hitch hike,munted up boots.

Anonymous said...

Great story line. I like the way you used similes to describe things.

e.g As the stones belted out the back of the car like bullets.

Well done Elliot!