I walked slowly towards the house, apprehension in every step. The house stood in front of me, decrepit, ancient, a lonely beacon of death and decay. Illuminated by the eerie light of the moon, the deteriorating gravestones turned a deathly bone colour, casting long, misshapen shadows on the ground. The mist swirled through the leafless trees, giving a ghostly feel to the land surrounding the house.
My feet crunched on the loose gravel path. I glanced nervously at the spiny gargoyles perched atop mossy pillars of stone as they glared at me with malevolent granite eyes, watching me, waiting for me to make a wrong move. Shut up I told myself, there’s no such thing as live gargoyles. However these ones seemed real, looked real, and the way their eyes seemed to follow me... I pushed the thought away as I slipped through the half open cast-iron gates and proceeded towards the house.
I reached the crumbly stone steps. The moment I put my foot on the first step, bats erupted from nowhere, I recoiled in fright and waited until their leathery wings disappeared into the shadows of the trees. I cautiously placed my foot on the step again, expecting something to leap out at me, but all stayed silent apart for the quiet whisper of the wind. I reached the door and tapped on the rotten boards, the door swung open silently despite it’s aged appearance, and I was hit by a wave of musty air...
6 comments:
Daniel that story has great descriptive words like “Apprehension in every step.” It really brings the story to life. When you read it it feels like you are in the actual story. Great work Daniel.
From Thomas and Thomas
I really liked your work. It was an amazing piece of writing that was full of description. I felt like I was there. You used words like decay, eerie and misshapen really well. I also liked your choice of decrepit. It is a great word that describes old and weak things really well. I think that using ‘slipped through the half open cast-iron gates’ instead of ‘went through the half open cast-iron gates’ was really clever.
-Kieran & Daniel
Daniel, that story has great descriptive words like “Apprehension in every step.” It really brings the story to life. When you read it it feels like you are in the actual story. Great work Daniel.
From Thomas and Thomas
As I have said on numerous occasions, you are a very talented writer Daniel.
Amazing vocabulary use; ‘apprehension in every step’ ‘deteriorating gravestones’
‘decrepit, ancient, a lonely beacon of death and decay.’
Well done, superb writing!
great story Daniel you set the scene really well. Great description.
Wow Daniel. You were born to write. Your story is full with amazing description like ‘I glanced nervously at the spiny gargoyles perched on top of mossy pillars’. That one sentence made me paint a terrifying and awesome picture in my head. Your story sets the scene but also makes the reader fixated with your use of language like ‘The moment I put my foot on the first step, bats erupted from nowhere, I recoiled in fright and waited until their leathery wings disappeared into the shadows of the trees’. How could no body not wont to read on?
I love your writing and ope to read more of yours in the future
Verity
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