Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Petrified by Grayden O'Connor

I was running to my apartment from my friends cottage at quarter to twelve at night . That's how I came across it. The mansion on the ridge was directly beside me. Mist swirled around it all. I recognized the unearthly frozen breeze glide through my clothes. I stood there... frozen with fear. The houses’ wrought iron gates suddenly creaked open. It was scary, but cool at the same time. I suddenly subconsciously trudged forward. I only had control of my head. I studied the broken landscape. Gravestones, mangled and trashed, lay mercilessly in the misty air. The hedges were all running wild and the trees cast creeping shadows over the destroyed, muddy terrain. The gerbera plants were all dark and droopingly low. The moon was somewhat larger by the house. The giant menacing full moon. But I knew the worst was still to face me. What couldn’t stay out of my freaked out mind was the luminous green glow emitting from the dreaded, green flaking mansion.
I stepped onto the veranda and the glow suddenly flared and instantly burst off. I opened the door slowly. It creaked uncontrollably. I was terrified, but still walked forward. The sinister force was still beckoning me forward. At the dusty stairs it left me there and held me. A hazy white form emerged at the head of the stairs.
I was completely petrified. I stayed in my scary nightmare for two seconds and then passed out.

2 comments:

Mr Eames said...

Wow, you are such a talented writer and you obviously love it!
I really like ‘The hedges were all running wild and the trees cast creeping shadows over the destroyed, muddy terrain.’

You use great words and excellent noun choice e.g. rather than flowers, you use the type of flower for more detail. Well done.

Are the gravestone meant to be in the air?

kieran r said...

This is a great piece of writing, Grayden I really like the part that says ‘The hedges were all running wild’, because this is a very good personification. you also used good vocabulary like unearthly, and menacing. awesome story Grayden.