Thursday, July 29, 2010
The House-By: Oscar
The light seemed to fade as if it were scared of the house that stood before me. Its towering profile watched me like a prison guard poised to strike, yet as patient as a brick. The ominous green light shone from the window like an illuminated eye forever searching for a the next victim.
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12 comments:
Wicked Oscar - so much detail in only a few words.
This is so carefully crafted that if it was pottery it would resemble something from the Ming Dynasty.
Awesome stuff!
Wow Oscar this is certanliy one of you best pieces of work. It is only a few lines but gives such alot it tells itself. 'The ominous green light shone from the window like an illuminated eye forever searching for a the next victim' this sentence tells such alot with only a few words. the word 'ominous' is such a powerful word in a story like this. Well done this story really reached out to me, I have read it at least 3 times over and still i am reading it again and again it is magnificent well done you should be proud of yourself!
Great work Oscar!
This has to be the shortest story I have seen, but one of the best. The thought that the light was scared of the house creates a feeling of apprehension and fear. also the 'prison guard poised to strike' is amazing!
Henry
Great work Oscar!
This has to be the shortest story I have seen, but one of the best. The thought that the light was scared of the house creates a feeling of apprehension and fear. also the 'prison guard poised to strike' is amazing!
Short but sweet Oscar I love how it tells a lot in only several lines. Great description E.g. 'ominous'
Finnegan
excellent job Oscar yours was one of the best, i liked the part when " Its towering profile watched me like a prison guard poised to strike," that was awesome great job oscar
David
good job oscar you had great description and i felt that i was really in the story. you are a great writer and you are really making good use of your talent.
That is a quality piece of writing! I really like the way you have used ‘The ominous green light shone from the window like an illuminated eye forever searching for a the next victim’. It is really great. Keep it up!!!
From Daniel
I liked it when you said the light was dimming away. It was a quick and to the point story. From Harry Q
Oscar! great story, I really liked the bit 'Its towering profile watched me like a prison guard poised to strike.
Very good detail in a smallish paragraph.
Great story.
oscar, I really like your piece of writing. it is short and effective and it is really well written. I really like the texture e.g. 'a prison guard poised to strike' Also the way it is only a story starter is really good because the task was just that, not a whole story.
Good work oscar!
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