Sunday, August 1, 2010

The Haunted House - By Mia

As I approached the rusty gates I feel a shiver down my spine. Mist grabs my feet and leads me forward. I can see mist running through the old cracked gravestones. I look up and see the moon looking back down at me. I close my eyes and keep on walking, as I approach the wooden steps I observed them closely. There is mold in the cracks and a spider scampers in front of me, to a place that I can not see. I knock on the door and it flings wide open. The last thing I hear is “ Who is it ”...

6 comments:

Sergio said...

Great story Mia, I liked the way you ended with an ellipsis which made me want to read on. I liked the sentence 'The mist tugged at my feet' and 'the old cracked gravestones.'

Awesome story.
Sergio

JAMIE said...

great description on your writing and you have lots of talent. good job tessa

mackenzie said...

Great story Mia you had lots of personifications i really liked the one 'Mist grabs my feet and leads me forward' and I can see mist running through the old cracked gravestones'.
The end of the story is really good and leaves you wondering what happens next.
Great story

Mackenzie

Photon's blog said...

Short but sweet Mia i liked the tension in the air great personification 'the moon stared down at me

finnegan

Henry said...

Great story Mia you had lots of personifications i really liked the one 'Mist grabs my feet and leads me forward' and I can see mist running through the old cracked gravestones'.
The end of the story is really good and leaves you wondering what happens next.
Great story

Henry




(p.s. Mackenzie write the original comment)

Harry-blog said...

I like your story so much i especially like your opening sentence well done Mia